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Merry Christmas everyone. This SNL video by Robert Smigel is for my Jewish wife and our sons. 

(via NBC/SNL)


Christmastime for Jews” by Robert Smigel, co-written by Matt O’Brien, Eric Drysdale & Julie Klausner. The creative team also includes director vocalist Darlene Love, director David Brooks, and my high school bandmate, saxophonist Bruce Kapler. (Unfortunately, I can’t unearth any other credits.) 

Christmastime for Jews” 

on christmas eve, the gentiles gather 
around the christmas tree 
they stay at home, and party with 
their goyishe family 

they disappear one day each year 
and pass the egg nog ’round 
but it’s all right 
because that’s the night 
the jews control the town 

well, this happens every year on christmas eve 
all the happy christian people take their leave 
yeah, the streets are deserted and that’s big news 
it’s christmas time for the jews 

the holiday party starts about 6pm 
ain’t nobody recreating bethlehem 
yeah the three wise men, that’s a big old snooze 
it’s christmas time for the jews 

they can finally see king kong without waiting in line 
they can eat in chinatown and drink their sweet ass wine 
they can crank barbra streisand on the streets they cruise 
it’s christmas time for the jews 

they can gang up on the quakers 
play for the lakers 
they can do what they wanna 
even blow off madonna 
get a chance to drive a tractor 
win on fear factor 
see fiddler on the roof with actual jewish actors 

now, they really get the party goin’ after dark 
circumcising grateful squirrels in the city park 
picking fights in the bar knowing they can’t lose 
it’s christmas time for the jews 

now it’s nearly 10:30 
yes, it’s time for bed 
daily show reruns dancin’ in their heads 
maybe next year they’ll learn how to hold their booze 
it’s christmas time for the jews

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